Annabelle was diagnosed with #autism a few days before turning two. For me, this wasn’t a surprise. AB has a rare genetic disorder of her #pten gene which often causes ASD, among many other things. What did surprise me was when, shortly after her second birthday, the sounds she had been making seemed to disappear. Essentially, she was quiet for over a year.

Sounds slowly began to come again and have climbed to where she is now, halfway to four. Annabelle’s noises, attempts at imitation, even some verbal word approximations are skyrocketing. But communication NEVER stopped.

Because verbal communication has been so challenging for AB and she is still #nonspeaking , we’ve worked with her therapists to find forms of nonverbal communication that worked at different developmental stages. Offering choices between objects, sign language, picture systems, and now a dedicated device ( #aac )using #proloquo2go . All of this has supported AB in communicating what she wants or feels, allowing her to have control over her life and ease frustration.

Working toward independent communication is essential but the most important thing that I have utilized as Annabelle’s mama is attunement. Sometimes this feels like trying to be a mind reader, trial and error, or intuition. In reality, it means that I pay attention to her body language, gaze, routine and interests. Attunement goes hand in hand with the #parenting styles that I practice and enjoy learning about.

The fact that Annabelle is a person with complex desires and feelings, regardless of her ability to communicate with her voice, has never been a question. But she is growing up quickly and I am so afraid for what happens in the future- will the rest of the world recognize that she is worthy of their respect and understanding? It’s easy to look at a four year old with compassion but we forget to apply the same empathy to a teenager that isn’t able to communicate easily.

The world expects typical and when someone lives outside that, they are seen as deficient. Imagine the changes that would happen if we looked underneath the surface behaviors of others and tried to see what is being communicated, words or not.