In the past, I wasn’t preparing for the challenges of my day or my greater parenting journey. I was guided by an internal chaos, instead of making purposeful choices about how to deal with stress. Any attempt at finding a calm center was reactive, not proactive.

Instead of imagining self care as sitting in a candle lit bubble bath, I have shifted my definition to mean actually taking care of my body. Getting quality rest, removing alcohol from my daily routine, going to the doctor, taking my meds, and making sure I’m enough water/vitamins/healthy foods. What a concept, right?!

I could laugh at myself and say, “this is the shit you should have been doing all along!” Instead, I’m trying to be easy on myself as I sip my chai tea. I can trace my steady internal shift from my postpartum anxiety with baby one, moving to a new city without the same support system, having baby two with a complex medical condition, then a reality shifting global pandemic.

Like many people, my family had a fragile little one to protect and I think I spent a solid year in a fight/flight/freeze response. Literally, in survival mode. So, when I look back at my past self, I try to softly smile and accept that she did her best with what she had at the time.

Prioritizing ourselves isn’t an act of selfishness, it is essential. As parents and as humans, we need to find internal calm and feel healthy in order to care for the people who depend on us. No pressure to be perfect, just acceptance for our imbalances and the willingness to keep trying.