So often, my brain is busy with to-do lists or trying to plan how to meet my goals or the best way to care for my family. I feel like I am always thinking, consumed by ideas that bounce around inside my head like a ping-pong ball.

I move through the day feeling like there is not enough time to do it all. I slowly settle into feeling disappointed or overwhelmed or unproductive.

My problem is sinking into my thoughts, instead of rising to action. It’s the constant buzz of my anxiety disorder, coupled with the exhaustion of depression.

As I continue on this current “journey” through 2022 (calling it a journey seems less dramatic than completely-questioning-my-choices-and-how-they-affect-my-mental-and-physical-health), I find myself first looking for scientific research to back my experiences. I need to understand specifically what is happening in the body and brain, how different choices change our physiology, and then I can make changes that support the healthiest option for myself or my kids.

My days are busy. It’s hard to find time to make this learning happen. I have to make conscious effort to remind myself each day that there is no easy time to fit things in- I simply need to start. There is no such thing as perfection- just time and opportunity and what I actually do with them.

I can do a yoga video in the living room even if I have to stop 15 times to give snacks. I can listen to parenting podcasts while we drive. I can also take a break and give everyone a screen for 15 minutes so I can just sit still. Nothing happens in a flawless way, but at least it happens.